An afternoon to remember

An afternoon to remember

Back at the hotel, Samia still wouldn't let anyone else near her, including Jaidyn. This was very hard on Jai. She wanted to comfort her; she kept patting her on the back and kissing her on the back of the head.

Jaidyn truly was amazing through this whole thing. A few hours of seeing mommy with Samia and not having my full attention, however, and being told by mommy that Samia just needed a little time, eventually took its toll. She didn't understand why Samia was upset that she had a sissy now. 

Even though I did my best to keep Jai calm, and I explained why she needed to wait to touch her or try to comfort her, she finally had enough. She stood on the other side of the room and when I realized that she was too quiet, the river was already flowing. She had both hands stuffed in her mouth and it was the most painful thing to see. Felt like a knife to the gut.

I couldn't hold both girls at once because Samia went nuts.... So I finally had to set her down and focus on Jai. Layne was doing paperwork down the hall... Great timing! So I held on to Jai and talked and talked to her, and finally I think she understood that mommy could love both her and her sissy equally, just as much as I loved Jai before sissy came along. What a concept to try to explain to a four year old child grieving herself. I knew this would be hard on her, but seeing how hard it really was sideswiped me... because I also wasn't expecting such a powerful and extended grief from Samia.

It was another of the turning moments for all of us. By the time Layne returned, we were beginning to be ok. Jaidyn's new friend down the hall came, and she and Jai played. Maybe Alissa was experiencing the same thing? These two girls being here together is a great, great blessing! They helped each other take their minds off this crazy experience.

We went next door and watched a Chinese cartoon and watched Alissa's new sister eat noodles. Samia finally began to smile. She finally wanted to eat. She would not let me take off her coat or anything else, however. That took another hour or so. I showed her her new red panda bear sweatshirt and she decided she wanted to wear that. She let me take off the Michelin-man coat she was wearing and put it on and she beamed. She ate puffs and Chinese cookies and a few crackers and drank very clumsily from a straw sippy cup. 

Back at our room, she was fascinated by a tiny train we brought. When we went to dinner, she grinned ear to ear at me, played with me, teased me, and held my hand when we walked to the restaurant. All through dinner she played with me and ate a ton of noodles. She loves water. She loves tomato sauce (it was an Italian place in the hotel, which was really good!). She even ate two servings of pesto. Jai fell fast asleep, stretched across two chairs, so our two families basically watched the show... These two little girls blossoming and showing us their personalities.

Samia took a bath and let daddy wash her. When it was time for bed, he and I held her in bed and I read her a book. She fell asleep on daddy's chest halfway through the second story. She squeezed him tight when he tried to put her in the crib, so he held her for a couple hours... Quite happily. :)

it's officially Christmas eve now. It's 12:45 AM and Jai is wide awake. She just had dinner, pizza from the Italian place. Hopefully it'll knock her out! I'm ready to crash. It's a big day tomorrow.... Not only does Santa come (and what a gift we received!), but it's also time to finalize our adoption of our precious little moonbeam.

- Nik